Snickers Cookies

As a tax practitioner who files Sales and Use tax returns in 45 states, I'm on all the mailing lists for each state and get notices when the state (and sometimes local) tax laws are about to change. One such notice came in the other day and I felt compelled to share it here with you.

I just received a notice from the Illinois Department of Revenue announcing some really bizarre changes to their sales tax laws that will take effect September 1st. (Disclosure: I have clients for whom we file Sales and Use Tax returns in Illinois, but their business has nothing to do with the items listed here - I just thought these were silly and wanted to pass them along!)

The Changes

First up, is the change to the tax on candy. Yes. The Illinois Candy Tax. According to the notice I received, the new Sales Tax form (ST-1) will include a separate line item for candy. So, now, candy must be taxed at the general tax rate, which varied depending on whether you are an out-of-state vendor, or based on location if you are an in-state vendor. But, lest you get confused as to the definition of "candy", Illinois clarifies this for you.

The following items are considered candy by the Illinois Department of Revenue:

chocolate bars, yogurt or chocolate covered nuts or fruit, honey coated nuts, caramel popcorn, lollipops, snack mixes containing yogurt or chocolate, breath mints (thank goodness), and gum. Nothing wrong yet.

Like every good (open to interpretation) government program, there are exceptions to the "what is considered candy rule" and Illinois says that chocolate covered cookies, yogurt covered pretzels, "candy" that contains flour, plain dried fruits and nuts with no added sweeteners are NOT candy and, therefore, are taxed at the lower "food" rate.

As a guide to help consumers and retailers to make sure that they have not violated this rule, IDOR provides a helpful rule of thumb. "You must check the ingredients label or package. If an item contains flour or requires refrigeration, it remains taxed as food (low rate). If an item contains sugar, it is taxed as general merchandise (high rate)."

There are similar clarifications on soft drinks and which soft drinks qualify for the lower rate (food) and which are taxed at the higher rate (general). Basically, the determination is the same - if you look at the label and see that the soft drink contains milk or juice without sweeteners (sugar or artificial), it is taxed at the lower rate (food). Otherwise, it is taxed at the higher, general, rate. And don't forget the special Chicago Soft Drink Tax - it's also clearly defined.

The Ramifications

Silly, silly, silly. As a former "insider" in another state department of revenue - not Illinois, I can just imagine the ridiculous amount of time wasted on developing these rules.

First, I can imagine legislators considering the hoary problem of the "Candy Tax Loophole" and spending valuable floor time debating it.

Then, I can imagine their staffers calling frantically to the Illinois Dept of Revenue asking for face time with Commissioner Brian Hamer, or one of his staffers. Because government policy makers are often fresh-out-of-college compassion-bots, I can imagine the flavor of that meeting. "Gentlepeople, we have a serious problem with the Illinois tax code. We need your help to strengthen our language. In the development of the regs, legislative intent was to clearly define that chocolate covered pretzels should get a tax break but that chocolate covered nuts should not. The citizens of Illinois are dying from eating Goobers and Raisinettes. We have to get them eating chocolate covered pretzels, immediately."

Not to mention the 2 cents difference in the tax on the two different items. Let's analyze what's going on here. Suppose that in the entire state of Illinois, during the course of a year, consumers purchase a hundred million soft drink cans at roughly a dollar apiece. If the difference in the tax rate is 2 cents, consumers will be paying into the Illinois Treasury approximately $2 million in additional tax - just on soft drinks. Sounds like a lot of money doesn't it? I assure you that an enormous amount of that additional revenue was consumed by the state in trying to apply the law change. For example, in the meeting I described above, there were probably 20-25 state employees involved over several hours worth of meetings. Then there was time involved in drafting the new regulations, developing the methodology for collection and distribution, advertising the changes - as required by other law, mail outs to who-knows-how-many tax preparers like myself. Then, computer systems changes were required. Add to that developing and printing of the new forms, getting approvals at every step of the way and final signoffs by Commissioner Hamer and his team, and all of a sudden, two million bucks - gone.

Now, let's say it's not a hundred million cans, but a billion cans and twenty million in new taxes. Now, you're talking about a tax increase that an Illinois politician can sink some teeth into, like a Snickers bar (high tax).

In future articles, I'll pass along some of the dumbest meetings I ever sat in. And, I'll talk about some of the dumbest people I ever fired (names will be changed to protect the innocent). When I watched Dragnet when I was a little kid, I thought they said at the end "Names have been changed to protect the idiots."

Caffeine Energy Gum

Ahurrrr~! This is just me and my huzzah buddy being bored. So uhh. Fear me. Or something. Oh yeah. Can you, fellow youtube viewers, come up with some funny disguise, and just come up with a tagline? I'd like to see your creativity. =]

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Any reflective student of history is often amazed at the products and processes invented and discovered in the ancient world that we take for granted today. Paint, gunpowder, weaponry, cement, the arch, beer, silk, papyrus, champagne, and so many others remain at the center of modern society and commerce in one form or another. Two of the most interesting ancient inventions are among the most popular consumer products of modern times, chewing gum and chocolate.

Chocolate was first harvested and converted into a consumable drink by the Aztec's in Mexico. Before the Aztec's, the cacao bean was considered a nuisance plant that neither animals or humans would eat. Tough, bitter, hard, and inedible, cacao was the plant seemingly least likely to have an upside commercial destiny.

The Aztec's took the cacao bean and blended the meat of the plant with peppers, cane and various liquids to form a drink that was consumed vigorously as a luxury tonic. The cultivation of cacao became a significant industry in Mexico and the beans actually represented a type of currency that facilitated trade.

When Hernando Cortes conquered Mexico, he and his Spanish conquistador's were repulsed by the taste of the cacao spirit drink that the Aztec's consumed in such large quantities. They spit it out and written accounts refer to their disgust at the drinks harsh, bitter taste. However, through experimentation, they found that by removing the pablano peppers and other Mexican herbs and substituting pure sugar the combination produced a sweet, savory foodstuff that was consumable as a drink or a candy.

The undesirable cacao bean had found it's initial commercial niche. Plant specimens were transported back to Spain and soon the popularity of chocolate spread across Europe. Planting of cacao trees spread across parts of Africa and Asia as demand increased and plantations were required to produce cacao in huge quantities.

The Aztec's likewise are central to the discovery and commercialization of chewing gum. In remote parts of southern Mexico, trees release a type of sap called chicle. The Aztec's harvested this chicle resin and developed a chewable paste that could be imbued with herbs, sweets and flavors. For hundreds of years the use of chicle as a forerunner of modern chewing gum was common throughout Mexico and parts of Central America.

Hernando Cortes however did not just conquer the Aztec's. He obliterated their society and culture. The southern source of chicle was unknown to the Spanish and thus lost for centuries. In 1870, Thomas Adams, exploring in Mexico's southern-most jungle rediscovered the ancient chicle resin. Soon after, William Wrigley found the source and the first chewing gum war soon commenced.

Adam's most famous brand of chewing gum was Chiclettes. Wrigley launched the Juicy Fruit and Spearmint brands. Both were very successful, though Wrigley came to be a towering beacon of Chicago commercial and social life. The Company he founded, in addition to the eponymous Wrigley Building and Wrigley Field, has seared the name Wrigley as one of America's great brands.

Inadvertently, the search for new sources of chicle in Southern Mexico has lead to the discovery of many ancient Aztec and Mayan cities that the jungle had devoured. To this day archaeologists are diligently working, and discovering lost tombs, pyramids and ruins that might have never been brought from beneath the jungle's grasp without the commercial desirability of chicle acting as the apex prod for exploration.

The Conquistador's were not interested in foodstuffs. They were lustily seeking gold, silver, jewels and mineral wealth. However, after plundering Mexico and Central and South America of all the booty they could pilfer and transferring this haul to Spain they never recognized the real treasures they had discovered.

Many types of grains, vegetables and fruits were introduced to Europe and the world as a result of the rapaciousness of the Spanish Conquistador's. These unintended side effects of the Spanish invasion of the New World were, at that time, considered tertiary benefits of the conquests. Certainly, the exportation of chocolate and chewing gum has provided the modern world with several of life's most appreciated and satisfying products.

Cadbury, Nestle, Mars and Hershey are international behemoth brands that provide sinful delicacy and enjoyment to humankind at amazingly affordable pricing. Hundreds of enterprises, large and small, all over the world produce amazing confections based on the Aztec discoveries of chicle and chocolate. Today, we are the beneficiaries of the Aztec genius for taking unwanted forest by-products and converting them to wondrous concoctions that make our mouths salivate and tongue's quiver with delight.

The Aztec legacy would be great even without the treasured gifts of chewing gum and chocolate. But when I watch a child eat chocolate ice cream, or a Snickers bar, or blow bubble gum bubbles, I know the world is a happier place as a result of this ancient genius.

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my first Cwalk Vid xD

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Everybody looks forward to party favors and goodie bags from the hostess. You don't have to spend a lot of money on party favors if you don't have a lot in the budget; creativity can go a long ways.

Follow your theme and it will add to the fun and excitement of the party. For example, if you decide to use a 50's theme, you could hand out homemade mix CDs of 50's music--think Elvis, Little Richard, Bill Hailey and the Comets, The Platters, and other artists from the era.

Sweet Sixteen Party Favors Ideas

Photo Lollipops with the birthday girl's picture on them. Find a company on the internet and order the lollipops about a month in advance so you are sure to get them in time for the party.

Special sticky notes, printed with fun, teenager type themes, music, trivia, etc. are good party favors. They are great for putting into purses and grabbing when your guests need to write down a cell number or a quick message.

Happy Birthday Pencils are fun, too. You can order in bulk from places like Oriental Trading Company. Take 4-5 pencils and tie them together with some pretty satin ribbon and then add some paper wrapped candies on the ends of the ribbon; tie the candies with the ribbon and let them hang down for added decoration.

Purchase small cloth bags from a craft store and fill them with candy coins or mixed chocolate candies like mini Snickers, Milky Ways, or Kit-Kat bars.

Noise Makers! They may be cool teenagers, but they still love to make noise. Grab a few bags at the party store and hand them out to your guests as they arrive to celebrate.

Bubbles are always fun and set the party mood.

These are just a few suggestions for Sweet Sixteen Party Favors. Take the ideas and embellish them any way you want. Ask the birthday girl for ideas on what her friends would like. Maybe find out what kind of favors were given at the last party she attended and then put your own special spin on it.

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I was significantly overweigh for over forty years of my life. During that time I tried pretty much every diet that existed and by age 65 nothing had worked.

I tried;

- The Peanut butter diet.

- The Ice cream diet.

- The low carbohydrate diet.

- The high protein diet.

- The no deserts diet.

- The vegetable diet.

- The coffee diet.

- The cottage cheese diet.

- The chewing gum diet.

- The yogurt diet.

- The watch your weight diet.

- The eat everything you want diet.

- The Jell-O diet.

- The low fat diet.

- The count the calories diet.

This list goes on and on folks.

None of them worked. Why? Oh sure each one has it's success stories I am sure, but in the end how many people ended up putting most of the weight back on? I'll wager most of them sooner or later. They didn't work because diets don't work! I'm sure this statement will annoy most of the diet specialists. Sorry folks, it's just true.

I'll bet that few of the people who failed at losing the weight permanently blamed themselves. Most I am sure, blamed the diet, the pill, the health club or the foods they were consuming.

Well, I have news for you. Guns don't kill people, people kill people. Food doesn't make people fat, people make themselves fat. It's that simple.

So, if you want to look better, live longer, have more fun and energy, be healthy blaming the latest diet isn't going to give you much satisfaction. But, if you keep at them you will certainly make all of them wealthy.

Where was I? Oh, for the past thirty-five years as a professional speaker preaching; discipline, persistence, success, goals and accountability around the world, I often felt like a fraud as I am sure there were always people in my audiences who thought, "RIGHT, you ought to practice what you preach buddy. You could afford to lose a few pounds yourself"

One morning I looked in the mirror after my shower and realized - I had breasts. This book is not aimed at men or women, so let's get that clear from the beginning.

The bottom line is men are not supposed to have breasts where they need a bra to hold them up. Just imagine me shopping in the lingerie department of the local store for a bra when the sales clerk approaches and says, "And what size would you like to purchase a bra for your wife?" "Sorry Mam this bra is for me." Well you get the picture I'm sure.

Well, it was time to finally do something about my 45 plus pounds of excess flab. I was out of excuses and people to blame.

And so the decision was made.

I would lose fifty pounds no matter what.

But, here's the problem. I love sweets, you name it, I love it. I love;

Key lime pie.

Snickers bars.

Chocolate cake.

Crème Brule.

Tiramisu.

Bread pudding.

Carrot cake.

Ice cream.

Brownies.

And, oh yes, let's not forget chocolate chip cookies.

Well, before I move on here I have to tell you, that I am also a sucker for;

French fries

Onion rings

Pizza

Pasta

A big steak

Barbecue

Potato chips

Hamburg's

Potato soup

This list is also far to long to bore you with.

It was time for a change. Not a change of food tastes, likes, preferences but time for a new decision - a time for no more excuses.

It was time to be thinner and yes, lose my breasts so I could watch my grandchildren grow up and not be embarrassed at the local pool when playing with them.

vegetable supplement

www.uberpulse.com Anthony Zuiker, creator of the famed CSI:Crime Scene Investigation TV franchise had a nice run giving away chocolate bars at the Virtual Worlds conference audience. "I have a point to this", he said! Well his point was that virtual worlds are for real and that he, Hollywood, Fortune 1000, marketers, developers, etc... can make a lot of money out of it. Well it's all about story telling and how you script... and Zuiker is a pro in that! "50 years ago, Milton Hershey gave his chocolate to Frank Mars' cookies and vice versa. They built the most successful candy bars in the world: Snickers, Milky Way and the 3 Musketeers. You out there, business community, marketers, virtual, Fortune 1000... by you working with us at CSI, we as the narrative, the future for all of us is very very good. So like that Snickers, the future is delicious, has a lot of nuts, but for all of us it's also sweet. I'll see you in first life, I'll see you in SecondLife, and God willing, I'll see you in the after life!" On October 24th, Gary Sinise's character and other CSI:NY characters will chase a killer in the real world and follow his avatar in Second Life. CBS will provide two 30-second spots advertising the virtual world created by the Electric Sheep Company to bring people online. Now I understand why "sheep" is in ESC's name ;-) www.uberpulse.com

rice crop

This is my beloved Dutch rabbit, Snickers. She'll be 5 years old in May. And yes, I know she looks more like an Oreo cookie...but that name is so cliché, is it not? No, actually a friend of mine already had a rabbit named Oreo, and I didn't want to use the same name. So I just decided on my second favorite junk food: Snickers bars. Hence, her name is Snickers.

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